A Million Lives Fiasco (or “A Major Case of ‘Dupin’ the Stupid’”) vs the CityLit Festival

Recently in my city, the clown wagon arrived in the form of a poorly thought-out ball and convention. Think “Dashcon” but make it literary and forget the ballpit somehow.

I already mentioned my original feelings on Threads, but it got whining from the usual suspects: White folks.

Now, if anyone else wants to whinge, they’re free to but bear in mind several things:
– I’m actually from Baltimore. Born and raised here
– I’m going to act as if I’m actually from Baltimore, born and raised here – and have spent time around the literary community here
– I know the Baltimore Convention Center inside and out. As well as actual ball hotels. Yes, they exist.
– Baltimore is a very literary city. We have long histories about reading. Our football team is named after an Edgar Allan Poe poem
– I’m from the gothic lolita fashion community … we know how to throw fancy events. Regularly. For decades.
– Black conventions are reamed by White fans for even the slightest mistakes (Read: Dreamcon) so a White-focused dumpster fire should be treated the same. At least RDCWorld, the runners of Dreamcon, aren’t hapless scammers. They actually try.
– White tears have the opposite effect on me. I don’t sympathize, I vivisect viciously
– I’m not concerned about the feelings of people who would rather put their hand in a wood chipper than read something not White
– I came from the entertainment industry of music and I have ran events, this one had major red flags

Now, we can start the post good and proper.

During the weekend of May 2nd & 3rd, there was an event (that wasn’t promoted locally … or well – we’ll get to that in a second) called the Million Lives Book Festival. Held bafflingly at the Baltimore Convention Center – because the Lord Baltimore hotel or the Belvedere somehow weren’t available? Even the Central Library has been known to open its doors to fancy soirees. Or just dig through John Hopkins’ garbage pile and you’ll find a few. Those ethically-wayward, myopic megalomaniacs love their hoity toity. Helps them feel like the Ivy institution that they’re not. Hell, this could have been held at the Library of Congress, who are the epitome of “esteemed class shooting out of one’s derriere”. I should know, I worked there. Their main competitor is the British Library, the LoC is not going to just give the British Library something to titter about, it’s bad enough the LoC has to deal with the “American” part. Anything less than regal counts as “utter trailer trash”. The Library of Congress is dangerously allergic to gauche. (And sense but that’s a different post.) But alas, some dimwit thought of coming up with a Fantasy Ball at a place that isn’t really fit for balls. Conventions, yes. Balls, no. I’ve gone to Otakon there for many years, my school had my high school graduation there. I know that place inside and out so I recognized all the pictures and all the exact locations that they were. And how White the event (including the promo) was.

This event could have been held in a lot of bookish places. If the runner wasn’t a doe-eyed dimwit. I don’t think she actively tried to scam – but that’s exactly what it became, a scam. And she deserves to be punished to the fullest extent of all that can be thrown at her about it. Even her mouth-clicky apology was pathetic.

But, holy crap, is there a sucker born every minute.

Let’s talk about my city, Baltimore, for a while because there’s a reason why I’m this caustic. Well, reasons:

While I have a major slew of gripes, bones to pick, complaints and issues about the city I’m from (“Stalwart” was written for a reason), I will give credit where credit is due. Baltimore is a very literary city, we’re quite good at literature. There’s One Book, One City; the Baltimore Book Festival; the CityLit Festival – we had to actually drop a lit festival, the Baltimore Literary Arts Festival, I believe, back when I was a teenager because we already had so. Many. Literary. Festivals. We will shove Edgar Allan Poe and Fredrick Douglass any and everywhere. Laura Lippman shows up, she’s always around somewhere to the point that’s how you know it’s a literary event! She could be at the supermarket, strolling down the aisle at an Eddie’s somewhere, looking for the price of papayas for her groceries somewhere and even that would somehow count as a literary event by proxy. If she’s there, it’s a literary event. The current governor, Wes Moore, built his name on his book The Other Wes Moore. It is a very good book.

Also, cannot stress this enough:
OUR FOOTBALL TEAM IS NAMED AFTER EDGAR ALLAN POE’S FAMOUS POEM. WE HAVE ACTUAL RAVENS – the birds, not the players – LIVING AT RAVEN’S STADIUM. THE MASCOT’S NAME IS “POE”. AND THIS IS FOOTBALL. ONE OF THE LEAST LITERARY ADJACENT SPORTS EVER.

We are beyond dedicated. We really are the city that reads – including reading someone to filth.

Heck, I nearly bought F. Scotts Fitzgerald’s apartment down in Bolton Hill. (I hated the green carpet.) We’re a very literary city! Jill Scott has been to our open mics, the Boom Bap Society hosted Lupe Fiasco, we’ve had Saul Williams here. Slams are important here. Open mics are important here. Octavia Butler came here to visit and do research for her book Kindred. One of the few functioning parts of City Hall is the Baltimore Council of the Promotion of the Arts. Also known as “The people who run Artscape, one of the biggest art festivals on the East Coast [and it is free to attend]”.

When it comes to Baltimore and the arts, particularly the literary arts, we know a thing or two.

Actually, let’s pause with Million Lies for a moment and pivot to a real literary event that was a bust in my opinion, the CityLit Festival.

That was held back in April, because April is National Poetry Month. I have been going to the CityLit festival since I was a teenager, back when it was held at the Central Library. It has over 25 years under its belt … and it still sucked.

This time the event was held at the Lord Baltimore Hotel (which has hosted actual balls as part of its history), which is a hotel most natives here in Baltimore do not really pay attention to, outside of “it’s the place across the street from one of the Charles Street subway stops”. But it’s there and it is a very fancy place to be at, I must say. CityLit still sucked tho.

It was the second time, I believe, the CityLit held an in-person event after the start of the pandemic and also after the loss of their long-time event spot, the Central Library. Thus they had two detriments against them. Their previous location was the Baltimore Symphony Orchestra (another place a ball could have been thrown). So, basically CityLit is currently leapfrogging throughout the city to find a place to stay. They’re now also without the mega marketing machine that the Central Library has and right after a historical, catastrophic mass sickness at that so they’re basically starting from scratch, despite a glittering 20+ year run. The room was small, the promo was uber limited, there was poor signage and the flow was wonky. No one really knew what was going on until someone found a roving volunteer. At least, however, there were helpful volunteers who knew what was going on. Even the person who ran the event, she milled about and listened to every gripe everyone had. Volunteers checked in to see how the book sellers at the tables were doing. There were tables, there were chairs, there were table covers, the very basics of what an event should be. Just not a lot of people, because they were busy seeing their favorite authors on the other side of the hotel and milling out the doors before they knew there was a vendor hall of any sort. If you traveled by anything more than a car to get to CityLit, you most likely took a loss. I made back my table and the uber I took to go there. I knew the event was going to be small, especially since I remembered CityLits of the past and the fact that this is right after a pandemic and the promo seemed on the limited side. That’s why I only took about 5 copies a title in a teeny box (which I also knew was a bit overkill, my math said to basically bring 7 books total. (Always calculate to bring enough for 3% of the projected crowd. If it is a brand-new event, assume only 100-250 people will show, no matter what the event runner says.)) I had enough space in my box for five per title in my small box, and the Zazzle card reader I use. Some folks brought a towering, ego-inflated amount of books that basically became ego-crushing when it came time to lug all that back to wherever they came from. Oh, and I showed up late and still broke even, I probably would have sold more if I was on time. Not much more but more all the same.

For what it’s worth, I could call the CityLit event runner on my phone, I have their number. And have called it. I’ve been to the address of the headquarters of the CityLit planning part of the festival, it’s on North Ave, near where I live. They were accessible, even by email. It was ran by more than one person. At least CityLit had logistics emails. Emails that had maps and icons and details about the area, including a protest and an evening performance at the nearby Baltimore Arena. Basically, all CityLit had to do was amp the promo better and make the layout suit the Lord Baltimore Hotel better, not Central library (because the layout was still with Central in mind as a remnant).

By the way, the CityLit Festival, just like the Baltimore Book Festival, Artscape and even the Baltimore Literary Arts Festival, was free. It was free to attend. Always has been. For those tabling, a half table of 3 ft had cost $25, a full table of 6 ft was $40. I got a half table because I wasn’t expecting much.

Notice all the low costs and this was for a free event that has ran for years? And I still held my reservations because I noticed limited promo and things were a touch henny penny behind the scenes. That’s my default, always one foot out of the door, even when I know the event well.

Oh, and several dolts on Threads said my take was “not a good look”. To who? Remember, I don’t have an interest in attracting readers that already do not read diversely on principal. I’m not worrying about losing readers obsessed with Sarah J. Maas, Neil Gaiman, J.K. Rowlings, George R. R. Martin, etc. Can’t lose readers you never had to begin with. My core readers are BIPoC and those who don’t need to see a brutalized dead body to justify cracking open Kindred. And one numbnut in particular said it was very surprising that I said all that I said “despite my content”. I don’t write romance and I never have. I also don’t entertain Standard White Girl Stupidity in any field so I have zero idea what content he is referring to. I don’t try to get readers from the SuperWhoLock crowd, they have even admitted they can’t understand books that don’t look like the fantastical retelling of Project 2025. I leave the Beckies, Susans and Karens to the most ineffable of storytellers and writers who solemnly swear they’re up to no good, lol. One big lovefest going on over there.

Moving on, the CityLit Festival sucked. I told that to everyone who ran the event and the people who sat around me. It used to be so much better and they need to return to that better immediately.

But at least it wasn’t this trash pile that A Million Lives was.

For one, usually book events reference the cities they’re in. At least Baltimorean ones do. Actually, many events held in Baltimore do. Otakon had a little teeny crab that would do fun things next to the red-headed mascots of the convention. CityLit colors are the colors of the city’s flag. Baltimore Book Festival has the city in the name. Even when I went to Multiverse, which is based in Atlanta, they had a shirt with the ATL skyline in fantastical situations, such as Godzilla and spaceships. A Million Lives could have been anywhere, they did not care. Probably part of the point.

For two, at CityLit, I saw Black people at the top instead of White Only. The people who ran CityLit were diverse … because we’re a 60-70% Black city. Anything book related held here that excludes us overtly or subtly is a joke and will be treated like one. The Million Lives event was ran by one person, one lonely White girl who should have stuck to penning books instead of showing how much of a walking problem she is. The choices she made were glaring. Not in hindsight but as part of How Things Were. That’s where my major lack of sympathy comes from.

One thing I have noticed about these ball events is that they are very White. Maybe some tokenization here and there so some hapless, clueless person gets to have their existence used as a human shield before they know it when accusations of racism and/colorism arises, but the entire thing has about as much diversity as a Republican social meetup at the White House. That will kill any sympathy I could have had fast. I already said it on Threads but I mainly only feel bad for any of the BIPoC writers and attendees because they got the worst of it, it seemed. And the one person who tried to get ADA. Otherwise, I’m hard pressed to find sympathy for the Fourth Wing reading bloc. I’m also certain this isn’t going to ding me readers, especially from that crowd because, as I’ve stated prior:

A) They would rather stick their hand in a salted wood chipper than read works featuring people who look like me willingly. Like I said prior, can’t lose readers who already avoided you on principal alone

B) I don’t write romance. There’s nowhere on my site, especially my bibliography, that says I do. I’m demisexual, it’s not my speed at all.

C) It’s Threads, the White people – especially the “I’m not racist, I vote blue™!” ones – crash out so fast the nanosecond you treat them only a sliver of a pie slice of how they treat BIPoC

D) I remember how White women overtook the romance community and drove out Black originators, and how vehemently they defended and adored Gaiman, Rowlings and more, despite glaringly obvious issues (such as how Gaiman treated Orlando Jones). Oh, and when one White writer screws up … they go find a new White writer to replace them – who will also eventually screw up. They avoid anyone of any other race like death. Actually, a viral death of a Black person usually has to happen for them to even try anything but White. But it doesn’t take much to get deep-sixed, in their eyes, when you’re Black or any other person of color, but Black especially. And that deep-six will also have a knock-on effect for other writers of the same background, something that plainly does not happen to White writers. Not even the moron who ran this mess of a ball and convention, will get much thunder and lightning for what she did in a few months and it isn’t like other book events ran by White women – or White people in general – or White writers, indie or not, will be paying for it via dashed reputation/guilty by association. All shall be very “Ça ira” af. Just a bump. Dreamcon gets worse, even if it is their best year yet. CoryxKenshin has caught major heat for his manga Monsters We Make just for late delivery and simply not having copies available due to selling out so fast. Black DnD players got axed from line-ups and promotions just because Gabe James figured out how to even cheat in poly relationships (my ace self didn’t know that was even possible but, wow, it is) and it’s Dungeons and Dragons, the White people in that community have done way worse on a much regular basis but can walk away from it. The girl who ran this, Grace Willows, will as well. Heat of the week, flavor of the month, taste of the day.

For me, lack of diversity means the event has built-in problems. It implies unsafe environment, an event board that is terrified of accountability, just problems waiting to happen. The Whiter it is, the more suspicious I am of it. Because it is not reflective of the actual fandom. If the event is upholding Whiteness, they’re going to uphold other problems as well.

Once a friend of mine asked me to speak at a Pagan convention as my other blog identity, Black Witch. I had never heard of this convention before so I looked it up. The friend wanted me to basically cover BIPoC Pagan topics, because the convention is so White and she noticed everything, including the line up, is very blanche neige.

She’s not one of the convention runners, btw. Her husband, who is also a friend of mine (and White. She’s White-passing Latina), was teaching a lithomancy class at the convention. They’re friends of some of the convention runners.

Already the basis of everything was about to get an automatic “no” from me:

– I’m not being asked by a convention runner, just the panelists.
– The reason I’m being asked is because the event is very White and the runners have no visible desire to change that
– The pictures on the convention’s website were very explicitly White. You could tell people of color attended but the photographer and the person who posted these pictures (could be the same person for all I know) did all they could to not center or acknowledge the attendees of color, only White ones. That’s a problem. A happily ignored problem. And if they’re ignoring this problem, they’re definitely ignoring others.

I checked the site and noticed their safety policy was very dunder-headed and lacking. You could tell this organization hated problems it couldn’t gloss over or ignore. “No racism whatsoever. Everyone must respect everyone.” If it is a majority White event, that means pointing out racism or letting a White person know their behavior is not acceptable will also count as potential racism and ejection. For example, to shift just a little, if a trans person at a convention calls a cis person something nasty in response to the cis person saying something nasty to the trans person for simply existing, it is not the same thing. Even despite the fact both parties said something messed up. The cis person would need to be ejected because transphobia is real, cisphobia isn’t. The cis person could have ducked the fire if they simply kept their mouth shut. The transperson can’t simply stop existing to avoid transphobia. These rules need nuance for a reason and if I can’t find it then I’m not going. I’m a little easier on BIPoC focused spaces and conventions because they’re usually designed with that very issue in mind (well, Black centered spaces are). But! I scan extra hard about gender and queer issues as the next rung down, as a bare minimum. It reduces my chances of crappy experiences down by a lot.

One thing to remember is research. Research and be suspicious, especially if they are new or new to you. But definitely if they are new. Assume low turnout, assume flakiness until it isn’t. If they are new and serious, they won’t charge a mint of a price. They will be genuinely inclusive (as in many different people, visibly different people will be there. It won’t be pink flavored vanilla, rainbow speckled vanilla, plain boring vanilla marauding as spicy vanilla, etc). Yes, rules suck – until you need them. Not a fan of diversity? Congrats, you got what you deserved. If the person running the event is hard to reach, you leave after trying all you can to contact. Things seem to be unraveling? Leave. If they have no track record, you get suspicious. Even if they do have a track record, still always have a foot outside the door.

I learned that the one BIPoC panel they had was a disrespectful mess and that BIPoC authors were treated poorly. That mainly has been coming from BIPoC circles so that’s a problem, and part of why I don’t feel so bad for the non-BIPoC attendees. White women shafting White women (and women of color aspiring to be White) is a tale about as old as time itself. It’s basically thanks to their White privilege they can even get this far to pull off such a con. Whereas Black folks get to deal with hyper-scrutiny and can’t a hair be wrong. So, no, I don’t really feel bad for the non-BIPoC attendees because they got suckered by one of their own (yet again, it seems. This is not really the first time it has happened). These folks are usually so nit-picky when it isn’t White. Maybe should have used some of that nit-picky brain here, instead of resting on “sounds about White 🤷🏻‍♀️”.

Remember, this is the same group that basically maintains its toxicity, I’ve very little to feel sorry for as a Black non-binary woman, including as a Black writer. This is the environment they created, thus this is their problem. My only issue is that they came to my city to pull this mess. Otherwise, this would probably be a post about the CityLit and how they could have been better, if even that. Very shortly after there was chatter happening about Million Lives did excoriating (and very anti-Black) things about Baltimore pop up. That’s a problem. This group likes to cry and flounce, that’s not happening here. Pony up and deal with it. That’s not victim blaming, that’s noting a very broken stairwell and its cruddy foundation.

When the event runner tried to get a Baltimorean bookstore (a White one because what else is she going to pick?), they responded exactly how I expected: they noticed they were dealing with someone who had zero connections to reality and logistics and smartly bowed out. And she still tried to implicate them. Like I said, we’re a very literary city, we know lit events. Also, we’re not a “fake it ’til you make it” city. You’re thinking of DC.

The event went so horribly that BCC security felt bad for them. Even brought personal speakers the con-goers could use to help things along. BCC security is usually super terse and very not caring. At all. See? Attendees got some special treatment, lol. Usually, convention security puts the B in ACAB.

About the Baltimore Convention Center, by the way:

– The lower floors are bald concrete because the event runner is supposed to bring their own runners, rugs and things like that. If they want, of course.
– There really isn’t a PA system there, a common gripe from Otakon goers. Either megaphone or get super social.
– The BCC would not just chuck away swag bags unless they looked like it was honestly trash, and even then they would ask. The event runner is lying because she already lied to implicate a bookstore, she will lie to push responsibility onto others. She already isn’t doing automatic refunds and who knows if she will refund all who asked for one at all.
– It’s not that the BCC can’t hold dances, I remember the raves from Otakon, but its clear someone – Grace Willows, this nitwit here – personally decided to not do her own homework and then blame others when things fall apart while also tricking the susceptible.

So, to sum it up neatly, A Million Lives is just one more example of how being dangerously stupid can lead you to making a scam. Dashcon, the Willy Wonka Experience, Blue Ridge Festival, etc. Willows, who pulled this not-at-all clever stunt, better get rinsed financially because she needs to learn that this is not acceptable at all. Ever. I feel only bad mainly for the BIPoC attendees and writers but that’s kinda all and even that is a bit limited. There were too many red flags that were ignored and “White is all right” isn’t a great way to discern if you’re going to be ok or not. Sucks for those who attended and vended but, seriously, use your head next time. Be as critical as you usually are when you spot a book that isn’t White-centered, lol.

Welcome to Baltimore, the city that reads.